What I am about to write next is perhaps a splash of some of my unstructured thoughts and feelings that haven't been curated in the realms of logic, sequencing or linguistic artistry.
However what it does represent is the raw display of internal emotions that contain almost all shades of the rainbow, like a canvas that wants to be painted but had no indication of what will it behold.
So, a few months ago I had a wave of emotional emancipation where the independent and mentally strong me decided that I had to bury the baggage from my past and look forward to that liberation where I was just me and not a girl waiting to belong to someone. Although most people who know me perhaps perceive me to be bold and self confident. They may also think that I depend on no one but me.
But the truth is, for years I have lived with a hollow inside me. The hollow that has gutted me on most nights with lonliness and pain. My past was ruining my present and my future. Everyday I waited for someone to tell me that they were there. That what I was in, was just a phase. But unfortunately that never happened.
Seasons passed, surroundings changed, my wisdom sprouted and I changed from the girl waiting on the porch to the lady who understood life. The life that is so precious. The one where we only get a single chance to make it right. Life, that taught me changes are a blessing, and disruptions do morph into valuable injections of "life skills".
At first the transition was an alien feeling. It was me surrendering to years of me "as I knew me" to the new "me" where letting go was "Okay". Where I didn't have to reprimand myself in my own eyes. Of course, each day was journey, some days better than others.
After all these months I can truly and earnestly say that being emotionally self sufficient is one of the best feelings I have experienced after being a mom.
Only so much for now..... Will be back for a lot more.!
Ciao....
Nov 12, 2017
Nov 7, 2017
Apr 18, 2017
Things to say...this & More....
Off late, I find myself listening to this track from Papon often. Reminds me of my teenage years and a lot more .... https://youtu.be/5u56NMsgiZM
Feb 9, 2017
Ain't water under the bridge
My latest favourite song. Have no idea how she does it every time !!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRLbAnuAlxc&feature=share
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRLbAnuAlxc&feature=share
Feb 4, 2017
Pausing in between the rush, the rut and the routine
Year 2017, fast forward 30 days, where did time go? This is just one month and this will expand into another and then another. Before we know we will be in the next year and then one after that.
They say time waits for no one and so it shouldn't but does that mean to rush in "all is we do" ? My work life recently had some changes and due to that it has been very hectic since the last few months. It was today that I decided to spit the dummy and officially book a day off. A day off literally to do nothing.
It is very unlike me to do this but against all odds, I took a break!
Being a victim of habit even when I stayed at home I had a huge to do list of chores, "the list shall remain unpublished" that I started tracking. Blogging this article was not on the list!
As I crossed off my first item, some unruly thoughts crossed my mind. "What if I chucked in a sicky for my home chores and "REALLY" take the day off to do nothing?" While I was preparing my "TO DO" list on the corner of the note, I had written 3 things, Listen to Music, BREATHE and Have fun in what you do... (See across)
So I did just that... I heard the music that I hadn't in years, I pulled books from my bookshelf and re-read pages I had marked, I worked with the plants in my garden, made a bouquet from the trimmings, set up my herb pots, cooked, etc. etc.... I really had fun in every thing I did.
And this did not involve a screen, an email or a phone call. It really left me so rejuvenated that its 3:00am and I am still enthusiastic about writing this blog.
The "Me" time breaks are so crucial especially if you are a working mother and always have your life tracking to the clock.
While the time I have lost today is never going to come back but what I have gained in that process is something that I'll never lose.
I want to make this a tradition and squeeze in a "break day" a couple of times a year if I can. Won't call it a resolution since the "due by date" to make resolution is gone past... but will make a sincere attempt.
They say time waits for no one and so it shouldn't but does that mean to rush in "all is we do" ? My work life recently had some changes and due to that it has been very hectic since the last few months. It was today that I decided to spit the dummy and officially book a day off. A day off literally to do nothing.
It is very unlike me to do this but against all odds, I took a break!
Being a victim of habit even when I stayed at home I had a huge to do list of chores, "the list shall remain unpublished" that I started tracking. Blogging this article was not on the list!
As I crossed off my first item, some unruly thoughts crossed my mind. "What if I chucked in a sicky for my home chores and "REALLY" take the day off to do nothing?" While I was preparing my "TO DO" list on the corner of the note, I had written 3 things, Listen to Music, BREATHE and Have fun in what you do... (See across)
So I did just that... I heard the music that I hadn't in years, I pulled books from my bookshelf and re-read pages I had marked, I worked with the plants in my garden, made a bouquet from the trimmings, set up my herb pots, cooked, etc. etc.... I really had fun in every thing I did.
And this did not involve a screen, an email or a phone call. It really left me so rejuvenated that its 3:00am and I am still enthusiastic about writing this blog.
The "Me" time breaks are so crucial especially if you are a working mother and always have your life tracking to the clock.
While the time I have lost today is never going to come back but what I have gained in that process is something that I'll never lose.
I want to make this a tradition and squeeze in a "break day" a couple of times a year if I can. Won't call it a resolution since the "due by date" to make resolution is gone past... but will make a sincere attempt.
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