Just recently we got a treadmill hoping that being winter it will be easy for me to jog indoors and work out every day. In actual fact, I was just closing the door on another excuse of being a "busy girl" and not go to the Gym. For those of you who do not already know, I enrolled for a 3 month membership at the Gym and used it only once. Yes, you read it right, ONLY ONCE.
I am trying to imbibe the treadmill in my life-style but my lazy alibi keeps on filling in for me. By now I have crowned myself to be the queen of procrastination and have on a perennial basis left tread-milling to the bottom of the barrel. But what I know is that what’s good for now is not as comforting but is something I will have to embrace to be healthy longer.
To help me undertake this mammoth change my husband has been really accommodating and encouraging. Without him I would have probably just have had the tread-mill as a non-artistic mechanical bling lying around the house. But, since I have decided to pull in my epitomic best for this endeavour; I have decided to spray it in the form of this blog and everyday I continue on with my exercising regime I am going to update the counter.
Start Date; 24th April 2009.
No of Days I exercised: 3/8
Last Updated: 02/05/2009
Apr 22, 2009
Apr 4, 2009
Shin-Shan-Chee!
Tonight, while I was getting my 2.5 year child to go to bed; with the night lamp switched on, he noticed his own silhouette. For a moment he was scared and rapidly snuggled into me. Noticing his curiosity, I couldn't help but ask him what got him so worried. In plain English he replied, "Mummy, there is a lion there."
Instantly my motherly instinct decided that no analogy in the world will help him explain the reality and may be actions will speak louder than words. I formed a deer out of my fingers and a dog and the concept was driven home like quick sand. "Milestone achieved" was my mental response. But may be I was over-joyous prematurely. The next request came as, " Can you make a Shin-Shan-Chee?" My sleepish mind was eating my brain cells and could not easily comprehend what Shin-Shan-Chee was?? So, gave him a few options of what he wanted me to make a silhouette of?? End result, no joy! Suddenly in the darkness of night, it dawned may be he is asking me to make a Chimpanzee and that it was!! Jubilant as I was, made a haggard Chimp that sparked a smile on my child's face. Suddenly, I found myself trying to teach him how to say the word Chimpanzee (don't ask me what happened to bed-time hour!).
The mini speech therapy class saw all versions from Shan-shee-zee to Chin-Zee to See-nap-chi. After about 7 trials he said it’s not Shin-Shan-Chee its Chimpanzee and that was the real victory our radiant sleepy eyes sought. Ten minutes later, he was in an infectious slumber which I have resisted to blog my brain-wave.
What got me contemplating was; where was the real victory? His understanding of a silhouette; me trying to learn his language or he trying to say the word "Chimpanzee"? Whatever, it may be it gave me a real lift. These things may not be of great significance as compared to international space stations being upgraded by a commuting crew virtually every month and IP V6 (the new lot of IPs soon to be released) underway or the G20 summit in London trying to scoop everyone out of the GFS.
But what really matters to me is the inner joy of sharing, the joy of seeing your own kind flourish, the joy where the end objective is upgraded knowledge and the joy that you were able to satiate your off-spring's quest for information.
And by the way, its still night; and I think I can catch up on some good sleep!
Instantly my motherly instinct decided that no analogy in the world will help him explain the reality and may be actions will speak louder than words. I formed a deer out of my fingers and a dog and the concept was driven home like quick sand. "Milestone achieved" was my mental response. But may be I was over-joyous prematurely. The next request came as, " Can you make a Shin-Shan-Chee?" My sleepish mind was eating my brain cells and could not easily comprehend what Shin-Shan-Chee was?? So, gave him a few options of what he wanted me to make a silhouette of?? End result, no joy! Suddenly in the darkness of night, it dawned may be he is asking me to make a Chimpanzee and that it was!! Jubilant as I was, made a haggard Chimp that sparked a smile on my child's face. Suddenly, I found myself trying to teach him how to say the word Chimpanzee (don't ask me what happened to bed-time hour!).
The mini speech therapy class saw all versions from Shan-shee-zee to Chin-Zee to See-nap-chi. After about 7 trials he said it’s not Shin-Shan-Chee its Chimpanzee and that was the real victory our radiant sleepy eyes sought. Ten minutes later, he was in an infectious slumber which I have resisted to blog my brain-wave.
What got me contemplating was; where was the real victory? His understanding of a silhouette; me trying to learn his language or he trying to say the word "Chimpanzee"? Whatever, it may be it gave me a real lift. These things may not be of great significance as compared to international space stations being upgraded by a commuting crew virtually every month and IP V6 (the new lot of IPs soon to be released) underway or the G20 summit in London trying to scoop everyone out of the GFS.
But what really matters to me is the inner joy of sharing, the joy of seeing your own kind flourish, the joy where the end objective is upgraded knowledge and the joy that you were able to satiate your off-spring's quest for information.
And by the way, its still night; and I think I can catch up on some good sleep!
Mar 22, 2009
Today.. I lost you
Today... I lost you. Yes,we have'nt spoken for years but I had always been missing you. Yes, you were always on my mind. But NOT anymore and if at all may be with sadness. I will miss "the missing". I will miss what we never shared or just dreaming about the same.
We spoke.. a lot but never heard each other. We walked a lot but not long enough to be in other's lives. We shared a lot but with confined boundaries. We comforted each other a lot... only to hurt within.
Now that you are gone and have no one to talk to, sets me to ponder Why am I thinking of you? Why am I even writing this? Why am I not with peace within myself? What is still hurting in me.. myself or the thought that I will never speak to you again??
Feb 16, 2009
P.S. I am waiting
Here I go furiously printing again as the jumbled up thoughts in my brain unfold into lines and then paragraphs.
Life is a story; as we all know and episodes are non exhausting till we live. But the line betweeen one episode and the other is so fine and faint that we are unable to realize that we need move on to the next chapter.
My battle within me today is to identify why am I waiting? For who am I waiting? Why am I pining everyday? How am I going to get what I want when I myself don't know what I want? They say no body knows you as much as you know yourself and no mind reader has the crystal ball to your thoughts; but then how come some of us are so confused and wait for someone to initiate and then blindly follow.
Just few days ago I came across a lady who lost the love of her life. Since then she has been waiting. It immediately reminded of Hillary Swanks in the movie P.S. I love you... the way she kept on feeling her husband Jerry around her even after he died. The only difference is that my friend's partner was alive and probably happy with his new life.
But in a way I am glad that unlike me atleast she knows what she is waiting for... unlike me she has something to look forward to. Unlike me she knows that the dream she has even with her eyes wide open is the same as the reality she once lived. But what would you do if the dreams you once dreamt seem so unreal that even with the eyes closed they seem fuzzy??
Life is a story; as we all know and episodes are non exhausting till we live. But the line betweeen one episode and the other is so fine and faint that we are unable to realize that we need move on to the next chapter.
My battle within me today is to identify why am I waiting? For who am I waiting? Why am I pining everyday? How am I going to get what I want when I myself don't know what I want? They say no body knows you as much as you know yourself and no mind reader has the crystal ball to your thoughts; but then how come some of us are so confused and wait for someone to initiate and then blindly follow.
Just few days ago I came across a lady who lost the love of her life. Since then she has been waiting. It immediately reminded of Hillary Swanks in the movie P.S. I love you... the way she kept on feeling her husband Jerry around her even after he died. The only difference is that my friend's partner was alive and probably happy with his new life.
But in a way I am glad that unlike me atleast she knows what she is waiting for... unlike me she has something to look forward to. Unlike me she knows that the dream she has even with her eyes wide open is the same as the reality she once lived. But what would you do if the dreams you once dreamt seem so unreal that even with the eyes closed they seem fuzzy??
Jan 21, 2009
Mama Mia....
Yes, I am a proud mother. It’s not very nice of me to kick-off something emotional and touchy with blatant pride, is it? But I just can't help it as that’s what I feel and that’s what my linguistically challenged mind is capable of describing in a One-liner. Over centuries scores of women have undergone the same elation of motherhood and may have endeavoured to portray it in different forms of expression. With me, I became pregnant again straight after my child's birth only this time I was embryonic with oodles of creativity. Therefore, this piece of writing.
The transition from being a girl to a mother is a bit like playing hop scotch, there is always the next big leap to exemplify and the hop back square if the point wasn't driven home. The only difference is that in this maternal bliss there are no time-breaks, much against any mother's wishes. At first, it was ecstatic realization of being a mother and then my emotions kept swinging with record highs and lows of joy and responsibility. Since the day my baby boy landed in my lap; laps of comfort and cuddles are what I have been blessed with. He changed my life since his first breath on earth. The first snuggle, the first smile and the first smelly poo!
I started singing nursery rhymes and found how many words I was missing when I sung it as a child. What the rhymes actually meant and not just act it out because the teacher tells you to do so! I am also giving the poet in me a shot and composing poetries out of no where! The Giraffe and the Lion can be friends in my story and the Cow and Cat both say “Moo” if my baby gives me a tough time! The turtle can sit on hippo’s back and take a ride across the river in my baby’s bubbly bath!The mid-night lullabies conquered my insecurities of motherhood while I was soothing my bub to fall asleep. I now know that colours are not only there to be mixed in a tub but light up the baby's nursery and make him feel at home. I know that we are highly intelligent species and can develop skills which we normally depend on all our life, within the first 12 months of existence. I have also learnt that patience is the biggest key to parenting and no matter what; patience is the only way to contain the storm bursting within me. Time is the greatest reliever –true, but not just true it’s the eternal statement to serenity and letting the optimistic side in me conquer its counterpart.
The tiny hands and feet that I cuddle all the time and sometimes can't resist a tiny bite on his cheek, I wonder how big they will soon grow and carve out a fine gentleman out of him. I am cherishing every moment of child-raising and will surely miss all this in the years to come! To give him comfort and happiness is now what I wish for till my last breath. To raise him to be a dignified human is now what I am responsible for till he can learn to fly on his own just like a bird.
The transition from being a girl to a mother is a bit like playing hop scotch, there is always the next big leap to exemplify and the hop back square if the point wasn't driven home. The only difference is that in this maternal bliss there are no time-breaks, much against any mother's wishes. At first, it was ecstatic realization of being a mother and then my emotions kept swinging with record highs and lows of joy and responsibility. Since the day my baby boy landed in my lap; laps of comfort and cuddles are what I have been blessed with. He changed my life since his first breath on earth. The first snuggle, the first smile and the first smelly poo!
I started singing nursery rhymes and found how many words I was missing when I sung it as a child. What the rhymes actually meant and not just act it out because the teacher tells you to do so! I am also giving the poet in me a shot and composing poetries out of no where! The Giraffe and the Lion can be friends in my story and the Cow and Cat both say “Moo” if my baby gives me a tough time! The turtle can sit on hippo’s back and take a ride across the river in my baby’s bubbly bath!The mid-night lullabies conquered my insecurities of motherhood while I was soothing my bub to fall asleep. I now know that colours are not only there to be mixed in a tub but light up the baby's nursery and make him feel at home. I know that we are highly intelligent species and can develop skills which we normally depend on all our life, within the first 12 months of existence. I have also learnt that patience is the biggest key to parenting and no matter what; patience is the only way to contain the storm bursting within me. Time is the greatest reliever –true, but not just true it’s the eternal statement to serenity and letting the optimistic side in me conquer its counterpart.
The tiny hands and feet that I cuddle all the time and sometimes can't resist a tiny bite on his cheek, I wonder how big they will soon grow and carve out a fine gentleman out of him. I am cherishing every moment of child-raising and will surely miss all this in the years to come! To give him comfort and happiness is now what I wish for till my last breath. To raise him to be a dignified human is now what I am responsible for till he can learn to fly on his own just like a bird.
Just about …..nothing
Everyday I think; I will write. Everyday I attempt. Everyday I end up between the backspace and delete key on my keyboard. Everyday I just leave a blank document.Well…so today my squiggly post is really about nothing. But one of the days where you want to express and profusely express on how much you miss your writing.
It doesn’t take long to stand and admire the beauty around you; the birds, the sky and the hills; probably an iota of a second. However, scoop a little minute or two with a quill and a blank sheet and there you have got worded scenery captured for nostalgia.
It doesn’t take long to share a friend’s life experience; brood over it and forget all about it. However, only if I scripted it somewhere; it would have helped me or perhaps someone else on a gloomy day.
I have pledged this new year to continue my old fixation of writing and seek a sense of joy and fulfilment.
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